Say what?

A co-worker just made another co-worker angry. The offended co-worker told me "She just strung a wrong chord."

Same thing over and over...

My co-worker and I were just talking about how our kids like to watch Dora the Explorer. The word I used to describe the show was "formulaic".

My co-worker called it "Repetitious"... but she pronounced it "re-PET-itus"

Hospitality, Maybe?

One of my bosses kept using the word "Hospility" instead of "Hospitality". I thought at first she was getting tongue-tied, but after asking for clarification, no - that's what she thinks the word is.

Speech

My cow-orker was commenting on Obama's speech in Cairo. She said "he was speaking Islamic....wait....is Islamic a language?"

That Would Be Tough

Cow-orker: "That might throw a monkey bar into things."

Third Party?

My Cow-orker just said (of a character on a tv show): "She talks in the third party."
She meant "Third Person".

Huh?

"We'll be in ship-shop shape!"

I think my cow-orker mixed "Ship Shape" and "Tip-top Shape".

Say What???

At a meeting the other day, the COO of our company was reading a policy to our compliance committee. She kept coming across the word "facsimile". She pronounced it "FAH-zi-mal" every time. I have no idea where she got that pronunciation.

When I got back to my office I tried to tell my cow-orker how funny it was. So I spelled out the word and asked her to pronounce it. "Fax-mail", she said.

I couldn't make this stuff up.

Lost as a Goose

I was just talking with a cow-orker about one of my favorite shows, Lost. She is watching the DVDs to catch up to the current episodes. She was just asking me about the character of John Locke. The last she saw him, he was in a coffin, so she asked "Does Locke somehow get back to the island and get re-erected?"

Um...

I think she meant "Resurrected".

Bass Ackwards

Our company's former IT manager constantly refers to "USB" as "UBS". Is it dyslexia if it's consistent and constant, or just an unwillingness to learn?

I spoke with one of our branch managers this morning about the big computer virus that's supposed to hit today. He repeatedly told me how his daughters keep load-downing things from the internet and junking up their computer.

Password Change

One of my L-users, pretty high up in the company, is always coming up to me and saying "My computer/software is telling me I have 10 days before my password expires...what should I do?"

I always want to tell him "I don't know...take a course in critical thinking...maybe a remedial reading comprehension class...?"

Intro

I've got a couple of other blogs already, so whay start this one? This blog is here to record all the silly things I see and hear around the office, home, etc. It's inspired by Scott Adams' old "True Tales of InDUHviduals" stories. Comment with yours as well! I'll be using some of his language as well, for example "Cow-orker" instead of "Co-worker", "L-user" instead of "user", etc.

To get us started, yesterday a cow-orker (a new mother) told me she asked her husband why boys had belly buttons. She understood why girls have them, to connect the mom and the baby, but she couldn't figure out why a boy would have one since a boy would never be a mother. No joke.

The same cow-orker told me about the time they went to New Orleans and saw a huge group of nuns walking together. He asked his wife "How do nuns reproduce?"

Again, the same cow-orker was telling me about something that happened on a television show. She said "He coaxed him into..." but she pronounced "coaxed" like the type of cable..."Co-Axed"

I work in a very rural community...I expect I'll have material for this blog for a while to come. I hope you enjoy it.