Third Party?

My Cow-orker just said (of a character on a tv show): "She talks in the third party."
She meant "Third Person".

Huh?

"We'll be in ship-shop shape!"

I think my cow-orker mixed "Ship Shape" and "Tip-top Shape".

Say What???

At a meeting the other day, the COO of our company was reading a policy to our compliance committee. She kept coming across the word "facsimile". She pronounced it "FAH-zi-mal" every time. I have no idea where she got that pronunciation.

When I got back to my office I tried to tell my cow-orker how funny it was. So I spelled out the word and asked her to pronounce it. "Fax-mail", she said.

I couldn't make this stuff up.

Lost as a Goose

I was just talking with a cow-orker about one of my favorite shows, Lost. She is watching the DVDs to catch up to the current episodes. She was just asking me about the character of John Locke. The last she saw him, he was in a coffin, so she asked "Does Locke somehow get back to the island and get re-erected?"

Um...

I think she meant "Resurrected".

Bass Ackwards

Our company's former IT manager constantly refers to "USB" as "UBS". Is it dyslexia if it's consistent and constant, or just an unwillingness to learn?

I spoke with one of our branch managers this morning about the big computer virus that's supposed to hit today. He repeatedly told me how his daughters keep load-downing things from the internet and junking up their computer.